He had to work that day, but he came home early to spend time with me. He didn't have to say it, but still he said sorry to me for not being able to give me the kind of anniversary he must have thought I wanted. I hope he knew I never wanted anything too big. All I wanted was to spend time with him. He said, he wished he could have taken me out to have dinner, just the two of us. But we didn't have anybody to watch the kids, so we had to stay home - again. I hope he knew I wasn't worried about that, either. That a simple dinner with him at home would definitely do.
Since we couldn't go out, my husband asked me instead what I wanted for dinner. He said, anything I wanted and he'll get it. You probably won't believe what I answered -- Chinese food. Yes, Chinese food for our anniversary dinner date at home. I could have went for something different, but I wanted Chinese food that day. (Does food even have to matter at a time like that?) I mean, for me, anniversary is not all about receiving gifts, or eating out in an expensive restaurant. It has a different meaning for me, and that is, for the both of you to celebrate it together and be thankful for everything you've gone through, and above all, for all that you've been blessed with. Being able to do things together with just the two of you is just a bonus. What's more important is, you get to have time together - regardless of what you do and don't get to do at all.
In our five years of marriage, I have learned so much. I've come to know that marriage is an every day journey, a challenge, an adventure, and a learning process. It's something you need to work on every day for you to grow into that person you believe each other deserves to have. It's not true that the more you know about your other half, the less effort you need to give into your relationship to keep it working. You must never stop giving it your best! Relationships grow cold not because of what we do. More often than not, they grow cold because of the things we failed to do and show. Love, if you don't know, is an action word. It grows more beautifully in a relationship where it's given wholeheartedly, shown, and felt. You just don't say "I love you" and leave it at that, expecting your partner to get everything those words convey. If you don't show it, it's as good as having to not say it all.
I've also learned that no matter how long you've been together, or how much you think you know each other, there will always be things that you continuously discover about each other as the days, months, and years go by. I honestly believe that a lifetime is not enough for you to fully know your better half. I have been with my husband for 6 years now - 5 years of being married - and I still have so much to learn about him, and he, too has a lot to learn about me. That's why no relationship is ever perfect. None will even come close to being one. Because no matter how much we think we know and love each other, we will always be two very different people. And for us to establish a good relationship, we first must learn how to respect those differences.
Accept your spouse's flaws. Love them even more in spite of the negative things you have found that they possess. And when you feel like you are so upset and you just want to let everything go, close your eyes. Let your mind relax, and let your heart do most of the thinking. If you let love rule over your anger, you'll realize that disagreements and arguments are easier to fix when you let love control you - and not your anger.
In our marriage, coming from two different sets of culture, beliefs and upbringing, not everything was easy. We have been through a lot of ups and downs. For us to get to where we are now, our relationship has been put to test so many times, and I cannot even tell you how many times those tests almost tore us apart. Adjustment period was never easy! Small things can tear you down if you don't know how to handle them properly. And, I have learned to do that along the way. American and Filipino cultures put together - not so easy of a thing to deal with during our first couple of years, believe me. We were both raised differently, and with that came a lot of disagreements. We had to master how "compromise" actually works for things to get better in our marriage. And I cannot be more thankful to God for allowing us to go through those trials! Without those trials, we will never be where we're at right now. Those trials made us realize each other's true value, and how much we love each other. Looking at my life right now, I will never take a single thing back!
SMiLiES | EMOTiCONS COURTESY OF: