Remembering Grandfather

I still was in great denial that our Grandpa already passed away, until today. Of course, how could I ever forget that day he went home to our Heavenly Father. The day that forever changed our lives!

March 9 marked his first death anniversary. Yes, already a year ago but to me, the pain hasn't changed a bit. Every time I remember him with the truth that he's forever gone, my heart aches still as much as it did on that day he passed away. Deep inside, I always die a little. I honestly think the pain will never go away. It may lessen as time goes by, but the pain of losing him is forever etched in my heart. I was - and I think I still am - in denial that physically, he's no longer here. I miss him terribly and knowing that there isn't a thing I could do to at least diminish what I feel, only makes it harder for me to accept and let go. I was never ready to lose him inasmuch as I am not ready to let go. He was one of my best friends - the greatest man I have ever met in my entire being. And I don't think I'll ever bump into somebody who, at least is close to how great of a man he was. There isn't anyone like him and there never will be!

I know he's constantly watching over us now, making sure we're all fine. And if he were beside me at this very moment, I would hold him tight - tighter than the other times I had held him - and tell him how much I love him, how proud I am that he's my Grandfather, and how grateful I am to God that He gave me 23 beautiful years with him, over and over.

Our dearest Papi, we will always miss you! There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you, that I don't wish you're still with us --that you were at least able to see and hold my little boys. How I wanted my children to experience how it was to be loved by a Grandfather like you. How I wanted you to tell them the same stories I heard from you when I was younger, especially those about your life and the wonderful and great things you did. I still know those stories and I'd love to share them to our kids but, I don't think I'll be able to tell them with the same passion that you had. It would be different- a very big difference.

If you're reading this right now, I hope this will put a smile on your face. I miss you so much!! We all miss you always. And I love you with all of my heart -- forever!!

See you soon!!