Christmas Songs Got Me Teary-Eyed :(

While I was listening to Christmas songs a little while ago, I couldn't help but feel sad - very sad - that I suddenly felt tears falling down my face!  I miss my family more than I can ever say!

The past 3 Christmas seasons (since 2009) that I wasn't with them, never felt the same.  Yes, the first Christmas was something very special to me as well no matter how much my heart was longing for my family back home.  It was very special because it was my first Christmas as a Mother - and I celebrated it with my own little family - but in the back of my head, I knew something still was missing.  I thought by this time, I'd finally get used to celebrating it without them.  But like the other times, yet again, I was wrong!  I honestly am beginning to think now that it's never going to happen.  Each Christmas time that passed by, the feeling of emptiness of not being with my love ones, never ceased.  It has even gotten worse as the years went by.  I guess it's all because of the fact that, there's no place like home, especially at Christmas time.

I cried because the songs reminded me of those times when I would sing Christmas songs for my Grandpa, while my Grandma accompanied me by playing the piano.  Every Christmas, we all went home for a vacation.  Regardless of how tough it was for us to travel sometimes, we never missed a single holiday not being with our Grandparents.  Oh, I take that back.  Year 2007, we never got to go home on Christmas, but we made up in the summer of the following year, for the time we weren't home during the holidays.  That was the only time I've missed holidays in my entire being, till I left the Philippines.

I can still vividly recall in my head how I usually spent my first night at home after months of being away.  Before, or after supper, my grandparents and I would sit at the table sharing stories, and just simply talking about anything.  Oh, how I miss joking around with Grandpa!  I miss making him laugh!  I miss him making me laugh!  Then, I would ask Grandpa if he wanted me to sing songs to him, and he'd always say "Yes".  He made requests.  And every time, he always chose his favorite Christmas songs first.  I usually sang songs until my Grandma would say says already tired.  I won't, and never will get tired singing for them!  If only he can still hear me right now.  I know he can, from up there.  But I wish I can hear him again, even just for one last time!  I would rather hear his voice again right now than any other sound in the world!  And how I would love to sing songs again for him while my Grandma plays the piano for me.  I miss moments like the ones I know I'd never be able to create with both of them - ever again!

I wish... even just for a day, I'd get to spend time with Grandpa and Grandma again!  Like the old times...  Even just for one whole day...