Missing Home!

Missing Home

Honestly, I don't know much what to write right now.  I don't feel like myself at the moment.  I guess it's all because I've been missing home so badly for days now.  It almost feels like those first few months when I just got here - there's emptiness in my heart.

I don't think I can ever get over being homesick, especially with the fact that my grandmother is already old, and each passing day, there's always this fear in my heart that I'll never get to see her again.  God forbids, I don't want anything bad to happen to her.  But the fact of us losing her one day is so inevitable that it always kills me inside.  If only I can go home anytime I want to, I would always be there with them.

My husband always tells me not to entertain things like that about my grandmother, and I know he's right.  I don't know, I guess I'm just too scared of losing another love one.  I haven't even gotten over with losing my grandfather three years ago.  It's just hard, way too hard to let go.  They say you won't stop getting hurt, especially every time you'd miss them, you'll just eventually learn how to deal with the pain.  We'll see about that!

All I know right now is, I want to be next to my grandmother.  I want to be with my family!  I miss everything about home, and I cannot wait to sing hymns again while my Grandma plays the piano.  I miss waking up to the smell of our kitchen in the morning.  I miss sitting at the table having meals with them.  The endless talks afterwards, and just how simple life is, yet filled with happiness just being with them.  Three years of not being with them already feel like forever.  I continuously pray that God will give us all the chance to see each other very soon.

And for that, I cannot wait to be welcomed home!