My Married Life

Being married is never easy, but it has more in it that make one's life even more worthwhile and meaningful.

Planning on getting married is totally different from being in it already. When you're still on the stage of planning on tying the knot, you could have different views on a lot of things, and still can have your own way and just get away with it if you choose to. But, once you're already married, things should never work that way or else you're doing nothing but leading your own marriage into destruction.

For me, based on my own experience, one of the biggest and hardest things I've learned when I got married, was how to deal with my husband. It's not that easy to adjust yourself to somebody you don't know anything about that much, yet. You have your own sets on indifferences and there would be times that neither of you want to give in. It's when you both think you're right about a certain matter and you choose to stand firmly on your ground. Guess where it will lead you to; disagreements and misunderstanding. Worse, it can even lead to bigger trouble if you won't do something quick to end it.


In my case, being married to an American added to those big adjustments I already had to make in order to harmonize our relationship. Although being in a bi-cultural marriage may mean having hard times understanding each other, especially that we both are from different races and cultures and were brought up in a lot different ways. I'd still say that this is a blessing and a challenge on both sides. When we started living together under one roof as husband and wife, we started to unravel the truth that things will never be the same again. One has to think first of the other before him/herself. That whatever decision you make can affect your spouse just as much as it will to you. We both had to change our old ways to be able to meet in the middle and start thinking as a couple. It was never easy to let go of some things you've been used to, but for the love of your marriage and your spouse, you know there's nothing you can't and won't do. You've got to make a lot of sacrifices, but never count on how many you've made and then bring them up against your spouse. You have to do it in a loving way and if one finds it too hard to do something, help them out expecting nothing in return. Whatever happens, never forget that you are two totally different individuals, that although were joined together as one, still are different from one another. You will find a lot of things you don't have in common, and when you do, try to learn from it, help each other in learning things about the both of you. Let them in to your life and help them to know you more, to understand you, and be empathetic. Your spouse will never learn anything from you if you won't give them the authority to. Learn to give and share, and if you feel you're the one who's giving more and receiving less, give even more and expect even less. While learning from each other, maintain your privacy and show respect. I know my husband has his own set of private matters and so do I; although we're open to each other and we keep no secrets, we still want to make sure we're not overstepping our boundaries. We also talked about not being bossy or that one should never be above the other and be in control of everything, all the time. We understand the fact that we are two different people, but we are a team here. We work on things together, as husband and wife, as companions, and as best friends. We never take that away from each other. We were enamored with the truth that we share a lot of things in common. The biggest thing we've discovered and learned about each other was how we actually dealt with our incompatibilities. That in spite of our different cultures and principle in life; we were able to beat that challenge; thus, making it a lot easier for us now to get on with our everyday life as a couple.

One of our main tools and the most important is, open-communication. My husband and I see to it that there's an open flow of conversation every time we sit there to talk about certain matters. We give each other enough time to explain things and then from there, we talk about what to do with that certain matter or issue. Though we may come up with different solutions, we make sure we meet in the middle to avoid conflicts. We promise not to yell at each other at any time, not unless the house is on fire. If in case there is any misunderstanding, one should ask the other and find out what exactly happened instead of just jumping into conclusions right away. We talk about our problems right away and we make sure we never go to bed with something left unsolved because we don't want it to grow bigger and add to whatever we'll encounter on the next day. We are happy that our marriage has this great communication. For without it, I don't know what I'll do to reach out to him as well as my husband to me.

Sharing your life with your better-half is the most wonderful thing there is in this world. It's an adventure for the two of us, because we learn new things about each other every passing day. Indifferences, though will always be there, are no longer that big of an issue to us because we've already learned on how well to deal with each of them. Making the most out of one's marriage is never hard to do. It is us how make things complicated by how we react to things around us, especially within our own household. It's an everyday relationship that needs everyday attention, care, and love. Marriage should not stop on your wedding day, nor on the birth of your first child, or your first encounter of trials and tribulations. Marriage is a lifetime commitment that you and your spouse have vowed to cherish and to nourish for the rest of your lives. Nothing can ever guarantee you a perfect marriage. No matter what, it will always have its ups and downs. It is now up to the both of you on how perfect you want to be for each other to keep your marriage strong, intact, and to make it last for a lifetime.