Finding Myself Within

For twenty six (26) years, I have been in between questions about my real purpose as to why I am here, and the answers I know I have but just don't know how and where to seek for them, thus, leaving me more confused than I've ever been in my entire being. For years, I never knew which path to tread on to find answers and put end to those questions, once and for all. Looking at myself right now, I honestly don't think I am growing up and making any progress in life at all because I don't feel whole deep inside. I feel like, there are some things still missing and without them, I really won't get to know myself - the real me and the purpose of my existence.

In times like this, I can only think of one thing that would clearly help me explore my own being to become whole as a person: Spiritual Awareness. I have been trying to reevaluate everything I possibly could in my life; from the past paths and decisions I've taken that led me to where I am now, the new things I have in the present and what they've contributed so far, and to the things that are yet to come. I've tried and tried, but nothing happened. I guess, I am this way because I've always set limitations instead of just allowing myself to simply be. It's like, I've always been physically ready to venture out, but not spiritually, thus, struggling myself and leaving me just confused and alone. I simply didn't allow myself to be aware of the signposts that could have helped me find the right paths to take. I think it wouldn't have been this tough on me now had I not been busy figuring things out the other way. And I don't want it to be this way because I don't want to keep repeating the whole thing endlessly.

I need enlightenment to become whole, to make that change in my life that I've always longed for. I want to better myself for my love ones without feeling incomplete anymore so I could give them my all. I must be freed from the rustic everyday routine and give time to myself to really be still, to be that person I can someday be proud of. And, I must stop getting my mind seduced by any other option aside from what my heart really is telling me. That's the only way I'd get to fully understand the purpose of my existence and make use of it and hopefully, be able to share it to others and be a help when they need it. When I'm set to just one goal, I know everything will follow and I'll receive the truth and answers to all these questions as long as I let my spirit be.