D told me a few days back that by next week, they'll be heading out to do mission. They will be doing now what they've gone out there for. I was like, this is it. I couldn't dig in for any right word to say to him. I was quiet for a moment. Sometimes, I'd rather not have my husband telling me about what they're going to do next or where their going to, because I can't help but worry. I always tell him over the phone to just promise me he will be safe and he will come home, every time we get to that topic. I am not saying that I am trying to avoid any of it. I am not! I have always known that it is part of his job. But, there are times I'd rather not know what they've been told to do or where their mission is taking them. In that case, even if I worry, I'd still be able to endure it.
We're almost through with deployment, but right now, it feels like we've just started. I knew this time would come no matter how I wish it never will - at least not yet - it's kind of too soon for me. I have long been preparing myself for this, but now, I don't know what happened. It's as if I'm back to the I-don't-know-anything-about-the-military stage. I feel like I'm being introduced for the very first time, to something I didn't know would be a not-so-easy-to-take-in and that I'd rather wish I never gave them any hint that I'm willing for a 'Go'. Everything I've learned and know, now looks like a blur. Is it a normal feeling for a first-timer like me dealing with my husband's deployment? Am I not overreacting to this situation? I haven't gone to any counseling or whatsoever they call it that gives briefing to those first-time-to-deal-with-deployment wives, so I know too little about the DOs and DON'Ts with regards to deployment. I may not have all the knowledge that most veteran military wives have, I know in my heart that I am doing the best I can to make this deployment so much easier for my husband to bear and live by and I may not be doing it perfectly, but I know I am dealing with it at the best of my ability, in any way I know.
As I type this, at the same time, I am exchanging e-mails with my husband. Tears are falling down my face right now but, I am not going to let him know that what he told me in his e-mail made me cry, scared me to be exact. Knowing I'm crying right now will only make him worry about me and it's the least thing I will do to him at these times - have him worrying. I know he'll get to read this when he gets home, but at least he's with me by then.
Every chance I get, I always ask God to send my messages to D. That no matter what he's doing, no matter where he may be at, he'll always feel and know how much I love him, that I miss him every moment, and I'm waiting for him to come home. I believe God surely does deliver my every message to my husband all the time - anytime, anywhere.
Please, help me pray for all of them who are out there doing their mission. Let's all keep our faith and hopes strong that God will protect them from any harm and will bring them back home to us. I could never ask for anything right now than to have my husband back in my arms. My prayer goes to all other military families who, like me are dealing with the tough times of deployment. THEY WILL COME HOME and that is very, very soon.
MAY GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS!!
We're almost through with deployment, but right now, it feels like we've just started. I knew this time would come no matter how I wish it never will - at least not yet - it's kind of too soon for me. I have long been preparing myself for this, but now, I don't know what happened. It's as if I'm back to the I-don't-know-anything-about-the-military stage. I feel like I'm being introduced for the very first time, to something I didn't know would be a not-so-easy-to-take-in and that I'd rather wish I never gave them any hint that I'm willing for a 'Go'. Everything I've learned and know, now looks like a blur. Is it a normal feeling for a first-timer like me dealing with my husband's deployment? Am I not overreacting to this situation? I haven't gone to any counseling or whatsoever they call it that gives briefing to those first-time-to-deal-with-deployment wives, so I know too little about the DOs and DON'Ts with regards to deployment. I may not have all the knowledge that most veteran military wives have, I know in my heart that I am doing the best I can to make this deployment so much easier for my husband to bear and live by and I may not be doing it perfectly, but I know I am dealing with it at the best of my ability, in any way I know.
As I type this, at the same time, I am exchanging e-mails with my husband. Tears are falling down my face right now but, I am not going to let him know that what he told me in his e-mail made me cry, scared me to be exact. Knowing I'm crying right now will only make him worry about me and it's the least thing I will do to him at these times - have him worrying. I know he'll get to read this when he gets home, but at least he's with me by then.
Every chance I get, I always ask God to send my messages to D. That no matter what he's doing, no matter where he may be at, he'll always feel and know how much I love him, that I miss him every moment, and I'm waiting for him to come home. I believe God surely does deliver my every message to my husband all the time - anytime, anywhere.
Please, help me pray for all of them who are out there doing their mission. Let's all keep our faith and hopes strong that God will protect them from any harm and will bring them back home to us. I could never ask for anything right now than to have my husband back in my arms. My prayer goes to all other military families who, like me are dealing with the tough times of deployment. THEY WILL COME HOME and that is very, very soon.
MAY GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS!!
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